Math ... ugh

Hey Readers,

Math makes me want to punch a truck full of pillows!

Not because I'm bad at it, I'm actually really good at math and can figure it out easily. It just pisses me off that it has all these "rules" and I'm not a rule follower. Rules are for.... well they aren't for me!

That's all, I just needed to tell everyone that.

So long,

Patti Cakes

College Roommate Nightmares

I literally have 31 days till Move-In Day!!!! Oh yeah, I'm going to school! The University of New England to be exact, and I'm more than excited! Like if I could just steal that dumb "Click" remote from that Adam Sandler movie and get to school already, I would be there right now!

But I'm trying not to "wish my life away", so I'm just going to embrace this month of not working and do some preparing and such. For example, I've been thinking hard about starting a Youtube channel and I think I've made up my mind and am doing it. I just need to come up with some video ideas and just go for it. I'll have to start that before school though because I want to get into a routine of video making and such. It's pretty similar to blogging except harder I bet. I have a hard time with consistency sometimes.

I'm going to paint, crochet and draw all kinds of pictures before school because I doubt I'll have time for that once my classes start. I met my roommate at transfer orientation that I just went to and I think she is super awesome! We get along really well and I'm so happy that she doesn't meet any of my fears that I had towards a "nightmare roommate".

Literally this is what I thought I was going to walk into:

My bag was weighing me down as I half carried, half dragged it down the hall. There was a musty smell to the carpet that had questionable stains to it as a light flickered in the distance. I faced my door and double checked the number on my key card. Yup, it says B21. I took a deep breathe as swiped my card in the slot and listened for a faint click. I opened the door with a reluctant hand.

"Hello?" I said. I heard a faint echo of my voice ring back to my ears.

"Hello." A sultry voice answers back. The lights slowly turn on as my eyes focus on the attention of a tall and slender woman sitting cross-legged behind a cloud of smoke. A broken window shade is hanging for life on the windowsill behind her.

"Um.. hi." I shift my weight and drop my duffel bag to the floor. "I'm Patti, I'm going to be your new roommate... I guess." I look around and can see that she' already decorated every wall space imaginable with movie posters referencing to the horror films and brutal scenes of lions tearing apart their prey. "...nice pictures."

"Thanks. My name's Jasmine Thunder. My parents let me name myself when I was five." She said as she put out her cigarette on her black boots and tossed the bud on the floor. "Are you going to take very long unpacking? I was planning on having sex with the guy living next door soon... unless you wanted to watch, because I don't really care."

"As tempting of an offer that is..." I say with as much sarcasm as I can muster.

"Oh and also, would you mind sleeping on the floor? My imaginary friend David is sleeping in that bed right now." she said pointing to the bed that was supposed to be mine.

--------------

Needless to say that definitely didn't happen. My imagination is my own worst enemy sometimes. Honestly, after meeting with the staff at UNE, I feel like if that did happen, I would be able to find a new living space immediately haha. No, my real roommate is the bomb. She and I like the same TV shows, we both love Tina Fey! (we both read her book "Bossypants" and loved it... Tina's my role model)  She's a great listener, which is AWESOME because I'm a great blabber mouth. I'm good at talking and talking and talking. We got along great at orientation and I seriously can't wait to live with her!

Now I have to somehow figure out what I'm gonna pack, what I have to buy, what items I'm going to leave home. Since I'm a transfer, I'll be living in freshman-styled dorms but I'm actually excited about that because only transfers will be living in that building and I met everybody that I was going to be living with at the orientation!

So that'll be all. I'm still writing, and will probably write a lot as I focus on being healthy-- ESPECIALLY WHILE ALSO GOING TO SCHOOL.

That's all for now,
Patti Cakes 

Day 3: Reminding Myself Why I Am Doing This

8:02am - is coffee bad? I can't drink it black BUT I only put creamer in, I don't like sugar... Doesn't matter, I'm still in bed because I just woke up. I think I'll do my yoga in about an hour. It's just hard here (at my grandparents house) because there really isn't a space where I could do it except the living room and I don't want to be rude and start exercising while my grandfather is trying to watch tv. I'll figure something out though!!! :)

Also I'm craving some serious apples right now!! 

-Later in the Day- 

I was just thinking about how my past journeys have failed and I was trying to figure out why; and I thinks it's because after I lost so much weight I forgot why I needed to keep going. I always got down to 230 or 220 and love how I felt but I never kept going. So here are my personal goals as to why I need to keep going even after I lose 30, 40 or 50lbs. Even now as I'm struggling through the first week. 

Reason 1: I want to be able to wear short skirts or dresses without the fear of my butt showing. I'm not talking micro mini skirts either. I'm talking about the kind that fall only 4 inches above the knee. They always look awesome from the front but scary from the back. 

Reason 2: I want to be able to walk into a clothing store and not be praying that they carry my size. I'm a size 18 right now, so Old Navy is my jam for pants right now but I couldn't DREAM of buying pants or skirts from Rue 21 or any other clothing store that has the style I love. 

Reason 3: I want to go horseback riding. I know that seems really far out there but my weight really would stop me from doing that. Horses probably wouldn't be able to handle someone like me on their back for a long time. I love animals and wouldn't want to put them through that anyway. 

Reason 4: I don't want to feel intimidated by thin girls anymore. Whenever I go out with my friends (who are all beautiful thin women) I feel like a 5 hanging out with a bunch of 10s. It sucks. And yeah all the boys do go up to them first and of course it hurts a little. Boys do come up to me too, but they are usually creepy and I'm assuming that they have low standards. Even if that isn't true, those are the thoughts that's are in my head and I feel like if I was confident with myself and how looked I wouldn't perceive these moments like this. 

Reason 5: I'm sick of being single. Even though boys hit on me and I'm sure I could find someone right now bla bla bla, being overweight really affects how people look at me and also my confidence level is low because of my weight. So even if a really attractive guy was looking at me, I wouldn't believe it or I miss it because my brain is stuck on "who would ever love someone who looked like me?" I think if I lost weight and I had more confidence I would have an easier time finding Mr. Right. Maybe I'm wrong but, that's how I feel.

Reason 6: The last reason and the most important reason to me is honestly just setting a goal and accomplishing it. Whenever I have set goals in the past about anything (be it guitar playing, singing, painting, running, dancing, you name it), I can't even begin to describe to you how good it feels to finally accomplish that goal. I want to tell the whole world, I set a goal (the hardest goal I have ever set for myself) and I accomplished it!!! I'm going to do it! I know I am!!


6:27pm I JUST CELEBRATED MY BIRTHDAY WITH MY FAMILY!!!

My grandfather made me chicken, potato and onion dinner and my grandmother made me a homemade ice cream cake... which I had three scoops of. Whatever, I was celebrating my birthday, I'm allowed to do that once a year I think.

My Homemade Ice Cream Cake!! 

I'm looking through inspirational memes on google and I've been finding some really good ones. I'll do my yoga in a minute after this cake digests enough so that I don't feel like I'm gonna throw up if I ran haha. I'll end this post with my stats for the day.

-from www.myfitnesspal.com

Well for some reason my sodium went out the window. Whatever, I'll figure it out tomorrow. :P I'm still happy about the calorie intake. I think that that's a 1000 calorie difference from Thursday when I decided to start this blog! Which is AWESOME!!! (happy dance)

I can't wait to find out what my weight is next thursday. (I am only weighing myself once a week so that I don't get discouraged)

Night Readers!!
-Patti Cakes

PS

I did both yoga videos today since I missed one yesterday. I did both Day 1 and Day 2.
here is the link for day 2: Day 2: Yoga

I have to say I really really love this challenge. I have never really tried yoga before and its very beginner friendly. I think I'm going to do the first video everyday along with the next one in the series I haven't tried yet. 

Day 2:

It's 6:55am and I'm at work eating breakfast. I feel motivated right now to get stuff done! Although I never had a problem being motivated in the morning. We'll see how the rest of the day goes. 

It's now 6:26pm and I'm in New York visiting my grandparents and mother!! :) I haven't done my yoga yet but I will. I've gotta tell you! I had an AMAZING day as far as calorie intake goes. I stayed 200 cakes below my goal. The day isn't over yet!! 

I'm not going to exercise today because I'm so tired from work and traveling that I'm actually falling asleep while typing this. But even though I didn't work out or do yoga I still feel accomplished because I stayed below my calorie goal! 

Now I'm going to bed! Tomorrow I'm celebrating my birthday :) 

-Patti cakes 

The Winds are a Changin

Hello readers!!!!

So I was doing my normal routine as of late:
Get up at the crack of dawn, go to work, eat unhealthy food for lunch, snack and drink soda, go home, take a nap until 6:30 when my cousin and her son comes home, then sit in the living room with my computer and surf the internet till bedtime and a lightbulb went off!!!

I have been struggling with my weight forever! Some times are better than others. There was a time that I had a 90 lb weight loss under my belt, but I gained some weight back due to minor depression. I was thinking to myself... I wish I had a community of people that I could share my woes of weight loss to, and a place where I can journal my journey. Then I was like... DUH! I'm a writer! I can blog about it!

Initially I was going to start a whole new blog about weight loss but because I was a genius when I created this blog, the name and goals on the right hand side totally allow me to incorporate this into my blog!!

I'm the girl who does everything... that includes being fit and skinny/healthy!!

So because of some past events that I will not share, I do not dance at that studio I was dancing at anymore. :( Which means a couple of things:

one: I don't want the drama so I don't think I'm going to join another dance studio.. also I'm leaving VT in 8 months and all the studios are working on their show pieces and I just don't want to do that.

two: I need to find a new outlet for my dancing! I have a tattoo on my body that says "to dance is to live" in spanish; if I were to quit dancing all together I would be hurting myself. Dance is my outlet and I will keep doing it despite things that have happened in my past. So maybe I'll just freestyle in my living room? we'll see.

three: I also no longer have a way to stay active. I used to dance 5 days a week last year... no wonder I was at a good weight!! But now I'm not doing anything. I need to join a gym or even pop in a video when I get home. ANYTHING!

So for tonight I decided to start a 30 day yoga challenge that is on youtube. (I'll post the link down below) and I'm going to promise to be 100% honest with you guys (if anyone is actually reading this. haha, I'd like to think I have somewhat of an audience). So as follows is the FIRST HEALTH POST!

DAY 1:
Weight: 260 lbs ( :(  ) - as a side note, I used to weight 300 lb so it could be worse I guess. I gained 30 lbs in 8 months... that sucks.

Exercise: Youtube 30 Day Yoga Challenge.
Calories Burned: 98
It's 20 minutes long essentially. It was kind of hard for me because I'm not flexible at all and my back is always tight. I think though that yoga will help me become more flexible and maybe even help my back issue. I just kept saying in my head "you don't have to be as good as the instructor! It's okay if you're not good at it at first, if you keep doing it you'll get the hang of it!"

Calorie Intake: 3,735
... holy moly god! What in the name of all that is food! I had NO IDEA that that is how bad I've been eating lately. That's horrible. I was just super honest with myself on myfitnesspal.com and I'm just like... wtf. I wish I had the money to go on Jenny Craig or some kind of system where I didn't even have to prepare my own food. That's the problem. I'm just so tired all the time, I don't have the energy to cook my meals or prepare anything. I tried to prepare my meals for the whole week but it's a hard routine to get into, especially when you get up at 5am and don't get home till 4:30pm. Ugh! Sometimes I wish I just didn't have to work haha.
But maybe when I get into this new fitness routine I will have the energy to prepare my meals more often. I'll get home from work and instead of napping for 2 hours, (which is ridiculous! Nice way to put yourself back into a depression idiot!) I'll work out for an hour, take a shower and then cook myself a dinner that is big enough for 2, so that I can have the left overs for lunch the next day. Then I can relax and blog, or read, watch youtube videos or something.

I'm doing this for real. It's not a "New Years Revolution", it's February 6, 2014 and I'm taking control of my weight once and for freaking all!

I'm signing off today. Here's for a better tomorrow!
-Patti Cakes

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Here are the links that I have mentioned in the blog:
Myfitnesspal.com
Day 1- 30 Day Yoga Challenge

Dance Up North- The Dancing is Cooler Here

I haven't written in A MINUTE!!
But on one hand my friends are doing great with their dancing. Remember a million years ago when I mentioned my dance family? Well, here they are! Choreography done by none other than the amazing Jessica Ashton, to two songs by Kid Ink/ Chris Brown and Kevin McCall. Ya'll should watch it, and then share it with your friends and then your friends can share it with their friends and so on.
That will be all.

-Patti Cakes

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