Day 3: Reminding Myself Why I Am Doing This

8:02am - is coffee bad? I can't drink it black BUT I only put creamer in, I don't like sugar... Doesn't matter, I'm still in bed because I just woke up. I think I'll do my yoga in about an hour. It's just hard here (at my grandparents house) because there really isn't a space where I could do it except the living room and I don't want to be rude and start exercising while my grandfather is trying to watch tv. I'll figure something out though!!! :)

Also I'm craving some serious apples right now!! 

-Later in the Day- 

I was just thinking about how my past journeys have failed and I was trying to figure out why; and I thinks it's because after I lost so much weight I forgot why I needed to keep going. I always got down to 230 or 220 and love how I felt but I never kept going. So here are my personal goals as to why I need to keep going even after I lose 30, 40 or 50lbs. Even now as I'm struggling through the first week. 

Reason 1: I want to be able to wear short skirts or dresses without the fear of my butt showing. I'm not talking micro mini skirts either. I'm talking about the kind that fall only 4 inches above the knee. They always look awesome from the front but scary from the back. 

Reason 2: I want to be able to walk into a clothing store and not be praying that they carry my size. I'm a size 18 right now, so Old Navy is my jam for pants right now but I couldn't DREAM of buying pants or skirts from Rue 21 or any other clothing store that has the style I love. 

Reason 3: I want to go horseback riding. I know that seems really far out there but my weight really would stop me from doing that. Horses probably wouldn't be able to handle someone like me on their back for a long time. I love animals and wouldn't want to put them through that anyway. 

Reason 4: I don't want to feel intimidated by thin girls anymore. Whenever I go out with my friends (who are all beautiful thin women) I feel like a 5 hanging out with a bunch of 10s. It sucks. And yeah all the boys do go up to them first and of course it hurts a little. Boys do come up to me too, but they are usually creepy and I'm assuming that they have low standards. Even if that isn't true, those are the thoughts that's are in my head and I feel like if I was confident with myself and how looked I wouldn't perceive these moments like this. 

Reason 5: I'm sick of being single. Even though boys hit on me and I'm sure I could find someone right now bla bla bla, being overweight really affects how people look at me and also my confidence level is low because of my weight. So even if a really attractive guy was looking at me, I wouldn't believe it or I miss it because my brain is stuck on "who would ever love someone who looked like me?" I think if I lost weight and I had more confidence I would have an easier time finding Mr. Right. Maybe I'm wrong but, that's how I feel.

Reason 6: The last reason and the most important reason to me is honestly just setting a goal and accomplishing it. Whenever I have set goals in the past about anything (be it guitar playing, singing, painting, running, dancing, you name it), I can't even begin to describe to you how good it feels to finally accomplish that goal. I want to tell the whole world, I set a goal (the hardest goal I have ever set for myself) and I accomplished it!!! I'm going to do it! I know I am!!


6:27pm I JUST CELEBRATED MY BIRTHDAY WITH MY FAMILY!!!

My grandfather made me chicken, potato and onion dinner and my grandmother made me a homemade ice cream cake... which I had three scoops of. Whatever, I was celebrating my birthday, I'm allowed to do that once a year I think.

My Homemade Ice Cream Cake!! 

I'm looking through inspirational memes on google and I've been finding some really good ones. I'll do my yoga in a minute after this cake digests enough so that I don't feel like I'm gonna throw up if I ran haha. I'll end this post with my stats for the day.

-from www.myfitnesspal.com

Well for some reason my sodium went out the window. Whatever, I'll figure it out tomorrow. :P I'm still happy about the calorie intake. I think that that's a 1000 calorie difference from Thursday when I decided to start this blog! Which is AWESOME!!! (happy dance)

I can't wait to find out what my weight is next thursday. (I am only weighing myself once a week so that I don't get discouraged)

Night Readers!!
-Patti Cakes

PS

I did both yoga videos today since I missed one yesterday. I did both Day 1 and Day 2.
here is the link for day 2: Day 2: Yoga

I have to say I really really love this challenge. I have never really tried yoga before and its very beginner friendly. I think I'm going to do the first video everyday along with the next one in the series I haven't tried yet.