I'm the Master at Flirting!!

Hey readers,

So, it's a Monday and I just finished a school assignment- know what that means?

I'm at Barnes and Noble!

Know what else?
There's a really attractive man sitting in front of me also studying for a college class. I'm just trying to act all cool right now, with my foot up on the chair in front of me, occasionally biting my lip, or smiling at the screen hoping he'll notice. He's got a Mac like me! With stickers all over the cover... also just like me. Boy! We have so much in common! He's also wearing sweatpants...
know who else owns sweatpants??
this girl!


If I was that brave girl who talked to every good looking guy that came her way this is what would happen right now:

He would be so dazed by my faces I make at my screen and the hastiness of my typing skills (100+ wpm), he would get up from his chair across the cafe and approach me.

"Hey, I couldn't help but notice we both have Macs!" He'd say.

"Hey what do you know?" I'd say with a wink.

"I also noticed you saw my sweatpants, I bet you own a pair too!"

I would lean back in my chair and stretch my hands behind my head "Why yes I do. They are terribly comfortable, and great for hip hop dancing."

"You're a dancer? No way! So am I!" He'd say while sitting in the opposite chair at my table.

Then we would have a beautiful conversation, we would exchange numbers, text all night, take me out on several dates and then 2 years later propose to me at this very cafe.

*    *    *

Wow, I'm a serious creeper. No, I don't actually flirt like that... I'm not that much of a mess.

Do you want to know what actually happened?

This is real life in Patti's World:

I was sitting at this very table finishing up my assignment for school, when this rather attractive man sat himself in a seat a couple of tables away from me and took out his calculator and text book. I tried to act cool and tried not to glance at him too much, but I couldn't help it. His red sweatpants and black long-sleeved shirt was working on him! He set up his Macbook and put his headphones on, while I pretended to type some words on my Powerpoint.

I also realized that I still had my plate and empty water bottle sitting on my table and that he was in the direct path of the trash can. *sigh - this is embarrassing.
 So I got up, and the spaces between tables are pretty small in this cafe, and I proceeded to throw out my trash...
I didn't even make it passed my table.

I tripped over the chair infront of me and managed to save the plate from breaking before landing on my butt... right in front of him. He looked up from his computer briefly and took his headphones off his beautiful head and asked "Woah, are you okay?"

I got up hastily and said, "Yeah." with an flirtatious eye roll (if there is even such thing), got up put my plate on the trash can and my water bottle in recycling and slowly made it back to my chair.

I know, my cool factor is just too high for all of you right now!

On the plus side, he has glanced at me and smiled while shaking his head twice now.

Is that a good thing?

No, I'm sure he'll go back to his dorm and tell his roommates about this chick that landed on the floor while passing him at the cafe. I'll be a funny story to tell, and that's the only part that I'll ever have in his hopefully long life.

That my readers, is how it happens in my life. It's okay, I'm used to it now. I just laugh it off... but just one time, I would like to charm the crap out of someone without falling to my doom because of my clumsiness.

That's all for now.

Peace Out Readers!

-Patti Cakes